Is there someone in your life you envy? Do they seemingly have life all figured out?
Recently, within my divine partnership, I've felt so.
Here's why.
My partner's eldest daughter happens to be right around my age. She graduated from a state-accredited college with a degree in nursing and does what she loves. She lives in a newly-renovated apartment with all the fixings, and updates luxuries as she pleases, the hoisted rope from her new job offering plenty of slack to do so.
Certainly I'm aware hers or my own happiness doesn't occur because of the material objects. Yet each time I encountered her my feelings of lack ensue. These feelings always steal the front row seat in my consciousness, prompting a reclusive response from my psyche. I disappear for a little in an attempt to process exactly what I feel.
My previous unexplainable emotional experiences coupled with my education on emotional intelligence prepared me to sit with these feelings sans judgement (i.e, incessant questioning "why").
Inside my heart I knew relief would come.
Through this feeling-sitting-knowing process here's what I learned: our soul doesn't always require answers. Our egos do. #improvementhack
My sheepish ego couldn't accept the fact that his daughter reached these landmarks before me.
I'll let you in on a secret. . . *despite utilizing the #improvementhack above, I still had no way of knowing how often and how intensely the envy would surface.* Meaning, my partner and I's relationship flourishes more by the day, and his children hold important space in his, and consequently my, life. She and her fiance live closeby us and, unless they're going on a fancy trip somewhere, won't be leaving anytime soon.
I had to feel-sit-know my way through this realization too. I felt unsure of myself, because my ego needs me to have the answers. I had to slow these thoughts and find my stability in the present (sit), while knowing the relief is on it's way.
Written by Lizzy K
12/01/19
